Zoo Rules
by Chump
On behalf of all the animals in the zoo, here are a few simple rules that we ask you to follow to make your visit with us as pleasant as possible.
1. Please do not feed the animals.
Do not throw cheezies or popcorn or half-eaten hot dog buns over the fence. They clog up our intestines. This is not good.
2. Do not pretend to feed the animals.
That little “comedy” bit only reinforces our desire to kill you and make hats and rugs out of your hide. Count your lucky stars there are bars between us.
3. Do not make faces at us.
In the animal world, that means you want to have sex. Not good.
